Bernadine Rose Neitz

Where do I begin? Bernadine Rose is 3 weeks old today. I would like to share my birth story with my family and friends who take the time to look at the blog. It is such an intimate and personal experience but I hope that the few of you who do read this post will find some joy in my story, especially those of you who are mothers. I have a new found respect for ALL mothers! Here it goes...

Here she is moments after being born. She was taken by an emergency C-section at 7:14 a.m. on Monday morning weighing 8 pounds 9 ounces, 21 inches long.

I started having regular contracts around 7:00 p.m. on Sunday October 2nd although I was determined to stay at home for as long as possible because I had gone to the hospital prematurely the previous Friday because I THOUGHT my water broke during an afternoon walk. There was a big difference between Friday and Sunday. On Friday I took a shower, got dressed, packed and repacked a bag, I even put on makeup. On Sunday I was pacing, falling to floor, rocking on my side, screaming, groaning, and crying. My mom had come a few days earlier to stay with me at Eric and Melissa's and I am very thankful that she was there because if I didn't have someone to watch me go through it, I may have never pulled the trigger to leave for the hospital. Around 11 pm my mom made the decision for me and I threw on some leggings and a dress that did not match at all, yelled at my mom to pack a toothbrush, grabbed my pillow and we were out the door.

The hospital was 45 minutes away. I had to sit in a car while in labor for 45 minutes, that seemed like an eternity. Tony was waiting for us outside when we arrived. I was a bit irritable and a little snippy with the nurses in the E.R. "How long have you been having contractions? How far apart are they?" "I don't know!!! A couple of hours?!?! They hurt!!!" I was four centimeters dilated, I got to stay! Tony and my mom stayed with me in the birthing room. At some point Tony and I spent some time alone. There were two nurses who were in and out. What a job to be surrounded by women who are in extreme pain, completely out of their heads... giving birth! I don't remember their reasoning but the nurses would not allow me to leave my bed. At home pacing had really helped the pain and there was a huge bathtub just feet away and for some unknown reason I was confined to my bed. Around 4 am I agreed to have some Stadol, a pain reliever, injected into my IV. It gave me about a 90 minute, much needed, rest. I opted out of a second dose when the first started to wear off. I'm so glad that I did because soon after the doctor came in, checked my progress and realized that at 8 centimeters the baby's head was coming down face first. What I remember of this conversation was that I was going through back labor which, apparently is more painful and the baby's position left her at great risk for a neck or spinal injury. He left to convene with another doctor and came back with a big book showing my mom, Tony, and Sherry, why I would have to have a c-section. I remember being crushed. I wanted to have a natural vaginal birth and I had already given in to pain medication. I felt like I had no leverage to argue with doctors, so after asking if it was absolutely necessary I consented to the c-section. Don't get me wrong, I also wanted the baby to be safe and after 11 hours in labor I wanted her out and safely put into my arms so I could meet her for the first time.

With contractions still coming strong a catheter was put in (this was the absolute worst) and I was wheeled to the operating room. I remember being wheeled past Tony who was getting dressed to enter the room with me. I have a vivid memory of the operating table laying flat and I thought, "there is no way that I can lay flat or sit up straight!" so I asked the nurse if the table could be adjusted. She didn't know and didn't even think to check for me. I let out a dramatic cry to "please adjust the table!!!" and then I was transfered and readied for surgery. Sitting up and leaning forward for the anesthetic was far worse than any contraction. I remember hearing a nurse and the doctor accounting for all of the operation tools, just like in the movies. The rest was a little fuzzy. They told me her face would be bruised from pushing against my pelvis but not to let it worry me, it would fade away. The next thing I remember was the announcement of her arrival and then I heard her cry. It seemed like ages but Tony finally held her up to my face and we named her Bernadine.

I woke up in a different room and she was put on my chest to breast feed. She latched on with no struggle, what a wonderful feeling. My body was trembling and my mind was in a fog. Tony said I was completely yellow. Nurses kept putting things into my IV saying this shot will help this and this shot will take care of that.

Finally all three of us were back in our room safe and sound and a little more alert.

Bernie at one day old

She was a suckling fool! She even latched on to Tony's nose!

Day two of three in the hospital. We captured a few rare moments where little Bernie was wide awake.

On Thursday we had to stay a few extra hours because she had lost more than 10% of birth weight. Around 2:00 we got the okay to pack up and go home. Tony dressed her in her first 'real' outfit, a gift from great grandma and grandpa.

Tony's mom suggested that I have someone take a picture of the three of us. So, I asked the nurse when my Uncle Eric went to pull the car around.

Our little peanut, as we call her, all bundled up and ready to go home! The first night at home was overwhelming to say the least. Melissa was my guardian angel that night. She found Griffin's old bottles and made up five of them while Bernie I relaxed and watched TV. Ever since that first night we have been very comfortable here at Villa Van Lue and more thankful than ever for the love and support of our wonderful family. We've had many visitors (which will be a post of its own) and a lot of help from friends and family.

That's our story, chapter 1! Stayed tuned for many more to come!